Last week, EnderWiggin.net was one of four fansites that got to reveal the second still from the Ender’s Game movie and with that image came a whole lot of talk about the food they had in front of them. Since I have an entire blog devoted to food from books, tv shows, games, and movies, it was inevitable that I give the Battle School food a try. And boy was it a hassle!
As soon as I got my hands on the still, I went looking online and was shocked at how easy it was to find the same mess tray in the still, easily available on Amazon. It’s shinier than in the still, but really, I wasn’t going to kick up too much fuss about it. It was clearly the same tray and that was all that mattered.
I knew I wanted to cook this, but didn’t realize just how much effort it was going to require until I started. It’s FIVE separate dishes to make! That’s a lot of food.
Before I get into it though, I wanted to mention that Ender News is holding a contest where you make your own Battle School food. I will be a guest judge for the contest, which ends March 6 at midnight. Be sure to give it a go!
First up: carrot jello.
I know, nasty right? Normally for Fictional Food I go for as much realism as I can, but ended up taking a bit of a shortcut with this one. I started by peeling and boiling one carrot, then liquefied it with some water in my blender. I boiled 1 cup of water, added it to a packet of apricot jello, then poured the carrot puree in. I put it in a container and chilled it in the fridge.
The result was just what I’d wanted! And the best part is, it just tastes like apricot jello. You can’t even taste the carrot. Although, I admit I only tried one small corner. I will be feeding it to my children for dessert tonight and we’ll see what they say. Muahahaha!
Next up, the little turnover dessert.
I bought a package of puff pastry and made myself some apple pie filling with diced apples (not sliced) and simply rolled up little rectangle turnovers, baked them at 400 degrees F for 20 minutes, and then brushed it with a sugar glaze. They were really yummy! The downside was I totally burned my tongue eating a hot one.
This next one is the grossest of the bunch.
Even though Khy Rhambo said that it was pea gelatin, I thought I’d try making a pea quiche. I couldn’t find any recipes, so I just looked up a basic quiche recipe and flung stuff into my blender and baked the result. It’s pretty nasty, tasting exactly like overcooked canned peas. (no surprise there, since I used a can of overcooked peas) It looked terrible, so I just took a butter knife and smoothed it over.
If I were to try it again, I’d try the gelatin route and use fresh peas so that I didn’t have to deal with the yucky dead pea color. Somehow I don’t know if that would help the taste.
Like the peas, I didn’t want to go with peanut gelatin because I actually wanted to be able to eat this one because, well, turns out peanuts are really expensive. As of right now, I’ve only been able to eat half of it because it fell into my stomach like a ton of bricks. I melted butter and marshmallows together, then added unsalted peanuts.
I should have taken the time to take the paper shells off of the other peanuts, but by the time I realized some of them had skins on, I’d already just thrown them in. I pressed it into a mini meat loaf pan I’d greased with shortening and let it cool. It tastes great, but it’s also like shoving a handful of peanuts and marshmallows into your mouth. I suggest sharing one with a friend or two.
For the bread, I made some ciabatta dough and baked little mini loaves that fit the tray. It tasted great the day I baked it but it’s now rock hard. The final full tray of food:
Not a bad attempt if I do say so myself. I’m dumping the pea quiches (I made 3) because they’re awful, but am definitely eating the turnovers and Jello. My hips have had enough peanut bars and I’ll be giving those to my son. The bread will be given to our backyard chickens. Hopefully it doesn’t crack their beaks or anything…
And there you have it, Launchies! A tray of Battle School food just like the soldiers are eating in the still. I admit I couldn’t find a cup like they had, so I just lamely added a metal thermos top. If you try any of these, be sure to let me know!
Not for the faint of heart
This recipe is more of a make as you go kind of thing. I didn’t really measure, just threw more in as I went until the consistency looked right.
I haven’t included the bread recipe as I simply picked a random ciabatta recipe online and I can’t remember which one it was! Hope you guys enjoyed this. Happy eating!